Archive for the ‘Things I Love’ Category

Thankful

19 October 2010 by Elizabeth in Ideas, Things I Love

I’ve been wanting to catch up here forever. Since last year’s half marathon, since the long gaps that have marked this entire year, since the recent tumult and upheaval that have characterized the last 6 months of my life.

So, hi, blog.

I am terrible with accomplishments. Every time I finish something, I’m spent and pessimistic*.  I’m never happy with the result…at least not until I’ve had some time away from that final product.  To wit:

  • Hundreds of successful photography critiques** in art school that left me doubting everything I believed and made.
  • An embarrassment of riches (not so much the financial kind, though that’s certainly true enough compared to what some have) that have allowed me to stay steady during some of the most unimaginable events of my life…which can be discredited, demolished, and sent into a gust of wind by the amazing power of my self-doubt.
  • Apple picking with my best friend and the love of my life? Not good enough – I should have researched the orchard more, should have made her a commemorative apple-picking tote bag, should have printed a little so-you-picked-20000-apples recipe booklet.

Oh, and of course this blog***.  I thought it kind of sucked.  It might, but only the parts that were forced.  (And the broken images, which I will fix one of these days.)

I looked back at those months when I was more dedicated to posting and I like what I see.  I am still proud of that life.  It’s not so different from life today, which is also pretty reassuring (no major personality fractures…yet), and a beautiful tribute to my silly, anxious brain that likes to play chicken little all too often.

It’s a beautiful time of year, even here in this city that has no real seasons.

It’s a beautiful life, even though the patterns of which I’m a part are often larger than my understanding.

I didn’t talk about it on the blog, but I got engaged in May.  Then I got un-engaged in July.  Neither was easy, but both were the right thing to do.

Having the courage to be un-engaged made so much room in my life, and new blessings flourished all around me.  Long-gone friends returned to me and new friendships thrived.  Family deadlocks dissolved, and together we found the courage to clean up things that had festered for too long. Freedom and peace returned to my life.

I’m so thankful for all of those brightly shining relationships, for the strands that keep me in those webs.

I’m thankful that I had the confidence in myself to let go of things that weren’t working and make room for what my heart always wanted. Religion plays into this, but not in more detail than that on this blog (today :) ), but so does the new man in my life.

That’s right. Yes, it’s too soon. Yes, I beat myself up for weeks (really, until this past weekend) thinking it was foolish, that it was a rebound, that it couldn’t possibly be what it seemed. Yes, everyone and their brother has told me to put the brakes on for a year. I tried to do all of this without “testing” him, but I’m only human…and he passed with flying colors. Like a dream come true.

So I’m thankful that I held out for this amazing gift of a man who has improved every second of every day of my life since I first met him. Everything has fallen into place so perfectly, but with the simplicity, grace, and silence of the midnight snow. No one is forcing anything into a new shape; everything lands and settles just as it should.

I’m thankful for all of the opportunities and education that I’ve had, and all of those who have boosted me along the way.

I’m thankful every time I can go out for a run, after all the years of being sick and sidelined, especially in this gorgeous fall-ish weather.

I’m thankful that I have the money and opportunity to eat in a way that nourishes my body rather than harming it (especially with Angela’s incredible pumpkin spice whoopie pies, which I made gluten-free by subbing the flours for 1 cup brown rice flour, .5 cups buckwheat flour, and .5 cups tapioca starch, along with 1/2 teaspoon of xanthan gum).

(Yes, I had to photograph them in the dark because that man I mentioned above would have made them all disappear before I could take a photo if he had known they were available.)

And I’m thankful because after all of my years of self-critique, so much has suddenly and sharply come into focus.  I see all my hard work paying off, even though things aren’t always perfect.

I have learned a lot this year, and I could never hope to do it justice here in a single post. I have been waking up inspired again for the first time in years, and I am so excited to go back to doing what I’ve always known I was born to do.

*I tell myself this is okay, because it means I’m giving my all.  Reason or justification? You be the judge.

**Yeah, about the photo critiques and that art school thing…I’ve been doing quick+dirty lazy photos here for the most part.  This may change.

***I have, in fact, been journaling on the web since the ’90s.  This is the first mostly-anonymous, non-personal-life-focused blog effort that I’ve ever put forth, and I think it might end up being the best of all possible blog worlds. Plus, whoopie pies and races and green monsters! Amen.

Well, hello there! It’s resolution time!

31 December 2009 by Elizabeth in Food, Ideas, Things I Love, Things I have Learned

In a syndrome all too common in the blog world, real life intervened and put this blog on pause.  I’m thankful that all the schedule disruptions were positive :)

Before I begin catching up on the last several weeks, I wanted to jump in with the present moment: new year’s eve!  It’s one of my favorite holidays, in no small part because I loooove to set goals and take the time to reflect on the directions I’m taking my life (and sometimes the directions my life is taking me!).

I learned several things about setting goals this year.  The first: one thing at a time!  (At least for big things.)  I got a lot accomplished this year that had been hanging around on my list for far too long (some of it more than two years) because I focused on one thing at a time.

Next up: have a clear vision of the future.  Not the whole future (no crystal ball in my apartment), but some sort of vision that’s at least a few hundred yards down the road.  The clearer this vision, the more memorable and motivating it is!

Finally: keep track.  Keeping track of workouts, food, and money was a habit I tried to form for several years (in keeping with my fitness and financial goals), but this was the year it finally stuck.  I don’t have a real secret for what changed, but I think the constant motivation of the blog community played no small role!

For 2009, I had one “resolution”: to live richly.  2008 was spent trying to get my feet under me and figure out my job, my relationship, and my family.  That flailing definitely laid the groundwork for my 2009 successes, but I believe I owe more to the calm created by my solo resolution.  Having just “one goal” for the year made it easy when I got stuck – whether I couldn’t make up my mind about what to eat, how to spend my money, what to do next, or what attitude to have, I could just do a simple test: does this help me live richly?

It definitely helps that it was an emotional goal, too, not a rational one…I’ve spent many years failing with rational goals, so I’m finally ready to own up to the fact that satisfaction, for me, is rarely a mental thing.  Once I accepted that, my quality of life increased almost instantly – which isn’t to say it’s been a hedonistic year.  Though I bought myself a pair of Louboutins (oh, the things you missed over the past month or so), I also doubled my net worth, got a much better job, and made good on a lot of promises to my family and around the house.  I just enjoyed it all the more because I was willing to make a life that worked for me, rather than the life I felt would logically be best.

goalsSo, for 2009, I lived richly.  I made myself a list of sub-resolutions that fell under that umbrella: use my journal/planner, prioritize, live in good health, live economically, drink more wine and eat more salad and soup, travel, keep a tidy space, enjoy everything, and slow down. And I did all of those, though the journal/planner suffered some neglect in November.  I also ran my first half marathon, ran several other races, took two glorious vacations with Wonderful Boyfriend, began eating a high raw diet, became a lot nicer to my co-workers, and ditched a lot of things that were weighing down my life (literally and spiritually).  The hardest part was definitely slowing down while still living in the moment, but it’s been well worth it.  (My need for speed comes from childhood, when I wasn’t expected to live very long so I got a jump start on lots of things…that’s a long story for another day, but hey, 28 years and I’m still here!  Suckas!) (And yeah, that’s a whole folder I keep for goals in the picture.  Don’t be jealous.)

For 2010, I’m keeping this resolution.  I plan to live richly for the rest of my life, in fact.  However, my official resolution for 2010 is even bigger than just living richly!  It is:

Nope, I can’t tell you now – for me, goals are like wishes; if you let them out of the bag too soon, there’s no way they’ll come true.  I won’t leave you completely hanging, though, because I have some subgoals that are far more concrete and shatterproof.  In 2010 I hope to:

  • Run a 5k in less than 25 minutes
  • Run a half marathon in less than 2:20
  • Do a pull-up
  • Travel to two places I’ve never been
  • Read a new book each month (I get stuck in ruts and reread my old favorites over and over)
  • Upgrade the things in my wardrobe that should no longer leave the house on my body…and get rid of them
  • Fit a sample size for an upcoming event (it’s not certain, but I have some theories :) Not jinxing this one!)
  • Save 50% of what I earn

I’ll be checking in on these goals as the year goes on – I do daily and quarterly reviews on my own, so I might as well share those in the days ahead.

I’ve been so inspired by the health/fitness/green monster blogging community this year – thank you all for everything you give every day!  (I know who my readers are ;) ) (Don’t I?) (And thanks for hanging in during my unexplained absence.  Patience is a virtue.)

And now, back to this….

nye-spread

champagne-nye

nye-cat

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Accentuate the positive

04 August 2009 by Elizabeth in Things I Love

It’s far too easy to be negative – I think it’s worth fighting that laziness of mind, because wonderful, perfect things abound.  (Yes, even yesterday when I was a grouchy grouch :)   At least I kept it in.) (I’m bummed that a local blogger seems to have become bent on being negative and sarcastic about everything – this writer is far too talented for such cheap tricks IMHO. Yes, I will tell this writer to his/her face, but not at 6:30 in the morning.)

Moving rapidly along to this morning’s fun pre-work activity:

thanks-1

Thank you notes!  These are going to my co-workers. Though this job is far from my first, it has been a great learning experience, both about my field and about office life…even though there might be people whom I’m less than thrilled to see every day (naturally, since I believe that’s the case in every group), it’s been nice to remember the good times and good aspects of these people.  Whether these notes are catharsis or an actual kind gesture, I’m glad I took the time to do them.

I started by reflecting on each co-worker: what he/she would want to be remembered for, what I will remember him/her for, and what we’ve shared together.  It was nice to find real gratitude for everyone.  Once I made a list of each recipient and his/her special qualities, it was time to break out the stationery:

thanks-2

I love these notecards.  G. Lalo has been making social stationery since 1919 (in Paris, natch).  I swear that more people would write real letters if all stationery was like this.

You might also have noticed my little bird card in the first picture – that’s my current calling card/”personal business card” with my basic contact information. The pen is a Uniball Jetstream – though fountain pens work well on these notecards (even basic ones like the Pilot Varsity), I didn’t have time for inkblots this morning.  I am particular about pens – I like how smoothly the Jetstream writes, it’s got a nice heavy feel in the hand (for a ballpoint), and the blue ink is quite vibrant.

Breakfast was a washout – WB and I stopped at Starbucks for a banana and an espresso macchiato:

breakfast

Now, back to my regularly scheduled program of wrapping up loose ends.