This morning was not at all what I was expecting!! Some better, some worse, some way out of left field. I can’t talk about my appointment in detail, so I’ll just talk about my wake up call. But first, a morning recap:
I had to put together a lot of paperwork. A lot of it brought back memories of “learning experiences”, some of which might be characterized as mistakes or regrets if I were to have those sorts of things.
So, I was in a weird and quiet mood by the time I was finally out the door, and all of my brooding meant that I didn’t have time to eat breakfast. 
But it’s all over now, and I am regrouping at starbucks before I head to the office for the day.
Wake up!
I left my appointment pretty deflated. Nothing really to do with my performance (I don’t think) – I didn’t make a A, so to speak, but I think it was a solid B+ and I’ve got a chance for some extra credit.
I got to think through a lot on the subsequent train ride, and I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing. For the first time in my life I’m doing something because it’s comfortable, and because it seems like the right thing to do. I don’t think that every breath I take has to be innnovative and earth-shattering, but it looks like I might have swung too far in the opposite direction.
I wish there were some sort of objective criteria for things like this. Even a cosmo-esque quiz would help….
Taking a break, or broken? Are you dead, or just resting?
Dead end, or u-turn?
Good enough, or time to say “Enough!”?
I’m maybe not the best judge of things as they’re happening, at least when I’m involved. I wish my advice to myself could be as good as it is to everyone else! Such a cliche, no? I spend my days developing strategy documents, information architecture, and project plans, but I can’t figure out quite where I am in my own gantt chart.
Even knowing what Jung, Freud, and hell, Lacan would say doesn’t help so much. These tough feelings are the best ones, I know…they’re the ones that make the change!
(And I don’t really have a gantt chart for my life. That would be silly.)
(Wouldn’t it?)
Meeting time, back in a while.